Monday, 17 November 2014

8 things that I don’t ‘Like’ about facebook

Each time I stumbled upon rehashed listings on Facebook, I wanted to write one of my own. As I said, this blog is also about the peculiar people I meet, so here's something about them!



Incessant status updates: Some people use Facebook as a social NOTworking medium. They will key in minute-by-minute updates of their personal life including mundane stuff like the inclusion of the 36th colour changing panda in their kid’s toy collection. For the uninitiated this panda comes with a chocolate, i.e. Cadbury Gems surprise ball, to be precise.

Unappetizing food porn: While we appreciate delectable closeups of cakes and curries, our sore eyes need a break from insipid images of shapeless paranthas and a mound of rice drowned in watery gravy. We suggest these food enthusiasts join specific foodie groups on FB to hone their culinary skills ands not launch an attack on our nerves and feeds.

Storm of Selfies: We like this new social sensation of self-clicked pictures but fail to understand why people put up some unsightly and ridiculously close bizarre images of themselves. There are times when anatomy of a human nose and a set of coffee stained teeth are shoved right into our faces. Eeeeks.

Wannabees: They buzz like bees around several social networking accounts and have an opinion about everything, ranging from Modi to manicures. A wannabee will share everything with the world, her new phone, her 'complicated' relationship status and her philanthropy pictures of the ‘rice bucket challenge'. She is just a wee bit more irritating than her male counterpart.

Mr and Ms Dislike: These social animals with an IQ of a tablemat will like anything and everything that appears on their feeds. Be it earthquake aftermath pictures or a bone chilling video from a war-torn region, they will hit the like button irrespective of the content.

Religious intolerance: It's silly to trigger off religious blame game on social media threads. Wish some people could learn the balancing act and not exhibit their extreme views about religion on a social platform. In fact, a recent study revealed that the most common reason for unfriending someone is that the person posted polarising comments often about religion or politics.

Fake viral videos: We have seen too many of these cropping up on our feeds shared by gullible friends. A few sample titles are: 'The real truth about disappearance of MH17 airlines', 'Human meat found in McDonalds burger' and 'This wonder fruit helps melt belly fat’. Somebody at FB should immediately put a stop to all this nonsense.

Happy pictures of your ex: Heart can sink and stomach can churn when you secretly stalk your ex on FB only to see him/her doing just fine. In fact, their happy pictures in exotic locales with a good-looking partner make matters worse. WHY facebook W-H-Y? Let bygones be bygones.


P.S.: This piece was written for DLF's magazine High5. So, it was trimmed down or else I could go on and on..

1 comment:

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